For the Onion-Hearted Mom (prayer3)

a heart like an onion

Two things in my life that have revealed an underbelly of selfishness:

Marriage

and

Kids

These two prayed-for life events propelled my heart onto a chopping block of purification. As if my heart was an onion being peeled back revealing layers of sin and ugly. Although it stinks and can bring a flood of tears, this unlayering is necessary for God to work and change.

couple in arms

When we got married 15 years ago, I came face-to-face very quickly with my own ugly self. Me at the center of my world now having TO SHARE that world with the love of my life. Sharing.  So hard.

Sharing the bathroom,

closet space,

time,

ideas,

ways of doing things.

Layers being peeled. Fresh underparts being exposed. God working.

bubbles boy

And THEN…we started having kids. Again, face-to-face with the me, me , me.  Never had I confronted someone as needy that would push and grow my selflessness and sacrifice with:

lack of sleep,

lack of getting any project done,

lack of time to do what I want to do.

The onion of my heart being peeled back layer by layer, getting to the core of all of who God purposes me to be.

Paul addresses the issue of selfishness in Philippians 2:3-4,

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not only looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Within these truths, we discover a nugget on how to survive the summer. Ooohhh, and I need MUCH prayer in THIS.

Prayer #3: Philippians 2:3-4

Father,

Left to myself, I’m at the center of my own universe. It often feels so unnatural to do selfless things. Or to do necessary things with a selfless heart.

So, I need Your help. Badly. I need Your truth-filled perspective to see that exalting myself is not the best for me or anyone else in my family.

Give me compassion to see my kids as You see them.

Give me perspective to look beyond today and what I want TO the long-term and see who I long for my kids to become.

Give me wisdom  to know which interests I need to look to in myself (I love that you have included that).

But, also give me clarity and understanding to look into the interests of my kids and to know what IS in the best interest for my children:

to restrict electronic time,

to not give him everything he wants,

to train and correct and discipline.

Help me to see what is best for them according to the truth..

Even if it means disciplining when it’s inconvenient for me.

Saying “no” when I don’t want to.

Putting down what I’m doing to play Spiderman on the floor.

This day, may I look to not only my own interests but those in my family. I need Your eyes to see and Your heart to love beyond myself.

Thank you. I love you.

**Philippians 2:3-4

Click here for a printable prayer card for Prayer #3: Philippians 2:3-4.

stsmomwww.amyruthwriter.com