In this moment, I don’t want to do this. It is so hard. Dealing with and, hopefully, unsticking my ugly attitudes that are plastered like masking tape across my heart. Whew…it’s a courageous task resisting the urge to react emotionally. It’s so natural to go with the flow of ugliness and, later, deal with the carnage.
But, I don’t want to be:
Ugly, no more. So, I declare and hope you will link arms with me to say:
A new journey.
A change in my life.
For the better. For the long haul. For whatever may come.
You with me?
My ugly attitudes can stick all over me.
I snap at my kids. I’m cranky.
I can’t find anything to wear. I’m frustrated.
The traffic is horrible. I’m irritated.
I spill Starbucks on my new shirt. I’m angry.
But, there are some beautiful ones, too:
I smile at the warmth of the sunrise. I’m grateful.
I skipped down the aisle of Target, kid-free. I’m happy.
I just had dinner with my girlfriends. I’m encouraged.
I got out of bed at 5 am to run 3 miles. I’m empowered.
I long to be that human who has more beautiful attitudes than ugly- exuding an unfading beauty inside and out.
But, on careful evaluation of just my last hour,
has smeared like graffiti across the brick and mortar of my heart.
So, there is work to be done. Hard work. Intense work. Dirty work in my heart. Things that are beyond my reach to clean but are enveloped within the massive, strong, redemptive hands of God.
It will be so worth it. Beauty is better than ugly. Easy is not always best. And, my natural self is a mess.
Grab my hand and make one bold admission with me:
Ugh. And now, the truth-filled responsibility…
Situations (even a needy, fussy, darling 2-year-old) don’t have the power to manufacture the source of emotion. Instead, situations squeeze out what’s already exists inside my heart.
“But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart.” Matthew 15:18
I know. Ouch. That hurts. But, in bravely accepting the root of the problem, we have the starting place to change: with each and every heart.
Let’s chew on that for a few days. And, evaluate our own hearts with bravery and resolve to be beautifully different.
Ugly no more.