#messylove, Faith

When I ask “Why,” God says…

Hosea

My lil’ 2 year old is a mess. In more ways than one.

One bright gleaming morning as I heard his little shooting man noises drift from the playroom, I bent down to clean the crumbs off the floor from breakfast. It’s as if a rainstorm of bacon and bread hovered over his seat. It’s bumfuzzling how it happens.messy face boy

Under my breath, I uttered, “You are a messy, messy, messy little boy.” He couldn’t hear me. I sometimes talk to myself.

These words didn’t come through scowling clenched teeth. No, I was smiling. A smile of extreme love. Part of me was happy to clean up his mess. Because I love him and it means he is here with me.

His mess was met with my love.

My mess is met with God’s love.

I can get messy. Complicated. Confusing. Dirty. So loving me is…messy. With each splash of filth, God meets my mess with His love. Over and over and over again.

I am coming to the conclusion that every question I have for God can be answered in 3 words,

I Love You.”

  • God, when will I get married? I love you.
  • God, why aren’t I pregnant yet? I love you.
  • God, what school is the best one for my son? I love you.
  • God, why did my dad get diagnosed with leukemia? I love you.
  • God, why do I have to move? I love you.
  • God, why me? I love you.

With each shake of my fist and groan of my heart and as questions spew from the mouth like a fire hydrant doing a test run, I hear His answer meeting my questions with a gently whispered, “I love you. I love you. I love you. You are loved.”

I want to grasp more…of His love.

And I pray that you, being rooted and establish in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know that love that surpasses knowledge that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Colossians 3:17-19

I get it. This 3 word answer may not give you all the specifics you need or want or long for to the questions you ask.

But hearing and knowing that His love is His first response to my questions positions me in the secure, confident space of his love. Of trust. Of rest.

While the answer unfolds.

What question is pelting your heart? Hear his gentle whisper through your messiness “I love you.”

1 thought on “When I ask “Why,” God says…

  1. Amy, there were exhausting nights driving back from the hospital in Houston, when all I could say was, “Jesus loves me and that is all I know”

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